I went to a wedding today. As a little girl, weddings were wonderful, magical places. I would often think in my head about how my wedding would be. The parts I liked or didn’t like. The parts I’d want the same or the parts I’d want different.
Then I got married. And divorced. And weddings made me cry for different reasons. I remember the first wedding I saw after I left my ex-husband, I tried to walk away. I didn’t want to see it. Didn’t want to see a smiling bride and groom. Didn’t want to feel like a failure for not somehow finding a way to save my marriage, or worse yet, for marrying someone I shouldn’t have in the first place.
My mother was there. She grabbed my arm and refused to let me leave. A woman herself married and divorced and married again, still saw beauty in marriage. Somehow still believed that the couple down below us would keep their vows, until death did they part. That love could still exist the way God ordained between man and woman. That faithfulness could exist. This woman who had seen heartbreak over and over, sat on the balcony next to me and blew kisses to the couple on the beach. She looked at me and said, “One day you’ll get married again”. She believed it. She believed I’d find love, I’d find and be discovered by a man, and in that discovery we would cherish one another “til death”.
Finally I too was there by my mother, with tears in my eyes, both painful and joyful, both sadness and hope, blowing kisses to the couple and cheering when they shared their first kiss as husband and wife. I watched the two later dance on the beach, and realized, that was my favorite thing about weddings. The most beautiful thing. When the bride and groom danced that first dance. As husband and wife. Looking at each other in shock, joy, passion, adoration, and love. The stress of planning the wedding melting away. The slow movement and the love song playing. The two just being in love and having all the hope in the world for their future.
Tonight at the wedding, again I found that first dance my favorite part. It was the most beautiful thing of the entire night. The couple I didn’t know personally, however, they still brought tears to my eyes. They have a daughter together. She a son from a previous relationship who called him “daddy”. The little boy was running around laughing and playing, happy and care-free. The daughter is a baby, wide eyed with chubby legs and baby feet. Tired and probably worn out from the excitement of the day, she began crying for her mommy.
So the end result, was this particular couple, shared their first dance holding their baby daughter. I caught a glimpse or two of the son playing and happy. I watched the man take in his wife and daughter, and I watched the woman take in her husband and daughter, and even as I type this recalling it I am tearing up again. What I saw in that dance was love. Hope. And inside I prayed a silent prayer to God for them, that they would hold each other in this way all their lives. That they would somehow find time to dance with one another again off and on the rest of their lives. That in raising their children they would be a unified front, a foundation, a support system. That their lives together would be everything I know they were hoping it to be.
It was beautiful. I realized I haven’t lost hope that one day I’ll get a second chance at that dance. The last chance. The only chance that matters. That I’ll get to be the one that’s a part of that beautiful moment.
And then I turned and saw love again. In the eyes of the one I was with. In his smile. This was another beautiful thing, and the best part I realized, was that it doesn’t take a wedding for this. This is a beautiful thing I’m blessed to see most every single day, and when I don’t see it for a day, I anxiously wait until I do again. I got to have a tiny taste of that maybe one day dance. Being held in his arms, looking up into his eyes, there was no where else at that moment I wanted to be.
“That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.”
The point of tonight’s blog is there are still beautiful things in the world, there are still beautiful things to come.
I went to a wedding today, it was a beautiful thing. A very beautiful thing.