Five Minute Friday: Grasping Time

It is Friday. That Means Five Minute Friday. WOOT WOOT. First: The Rules:
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on::: Grasp

Ready.Set.GO.

Grasp

Time.
I have difficulty grasping time.
Lay in bed,
thoughts begin.
Childhood. Teenage years. Choices.
Mistakes. Fights.
Trying so hard and feeling like such a failure.

Time.
It never slowed down for me.
Never stopped.
The more time kept going,
the more it seemed I was struggling to grasp.

Why?
Lay in bed, thoughts begin.
Deep sudden inhale of breath.
Stop the thoughts.
Get up. Get out.
Start this day.
My life.
This time.

This is the time that matters.
I move into the kitchen and see this manchild.
His hands used to fit inside of mine.
I used to kiss the bottoms of his feet.
He would see me, and without words, because he could not speak them,
He would run to me.
As fast as little chubby legs could carry him.
Run and grab me, look up at me, smiling.

Does he grasp it?
My love for him?
Will he lay awake in bed,
and find thoughts haunting him?
Will he look back as those early years,
when we were both children together,
mother and son, children together?
Will he have those thoughts he cannot grasp?
Those thoughts he cannot understand?

I look at him now, and again,
I cannot grasp time.
Little feet now bigger than mine.
Little hands now match mine.
Look, there it is,
he ran to the door when I came home after being away all weekend.
He ran into my arms and gave me a hug.
His head bumps against my head,
it hurts us both a little.
He laughs.
Silly man boy.
He forgets he’s grown so much.
Smiles at me, tells me he loves me.
Does he grasp this love I have for him?
This mothers love?
Does he grasp his father’s love for him?
I see this man boy, looking at my husband.
Looking at him to teach him how to be a man.
And my heart quickens at the thought that in time,
he will be a man.

Time.
I simply cannot grasp time.
Some nights I simply find comfort,
falling into the promise of eternity.
And then I realize,
Maybe this is why I don’t need to “grasp” time.
I just need to grasp love.

Grasping Love

STOP.

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14 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: Grasping Time

  1. Razella, You and I have the same adventure currently with our “man child” please see my blog after you on 5 minute Friday. I don’t understand the link God puts in a mother’s heart for the Man-child. The girls and I have our own distink relationships, but he is the one that melts me with his…heart?
    I will be leaving in 5 hours and not see him for the weekend. He will run and hug…past the stage of “what did you bring me home”…he knows at a ladie’s retreat I will not have aquired: new earbuds, size 13 sneakers, or the number of other things on his list that he wants. The retreat will result in the return of me…that’s what he wants most.
    We are blessed.

    Thanks for sharing you Man-child.
    Shalom, Deena

    • I totally enjoyed reading your thoughts on “grasp” as well! My son has not yet hit the stage of expecting something when I come back after a weekend getaway, although he does show appreciation when we bring him something back. I think I have learned to treasure these days because I know that in another ten years, I’ll again be trying to grasp these last ten that have passed.

  2. Your words really touched me, and reminded me of how quickly time passed with my grown son and daughter. It is always too fast to be truly grasped. Thank you for the inspiration.

  3. “He would run to me.
    As fast as little chubby legs could carry him.” <— Aww… yes.. I'm living this one now and so sullen that too soon these moments will be gone..
    Time.. is unforgiving, relentless isn't it?
    Great post.. you must be a speed typer.

    • Time completely is unforgiving, relentless, and too fast and too quick. Just trying to appreciate “now” and trying to learn to grasp “love”. 🙂 Yes, I am actually a wicked speed typer HAHA. All those years as a career woman paid off when it comes to WPM! 😛 Thank you for stopping by.

    • I believe that we all will find ourselves in moments of grasping at pieces of our lives, especially with our children. I don’t think I ever felt about “time” the way I feel about it now as a mother. The good news I fall into is that love is everlasting, and time cannot touch it! ^_^

  4. What a beautiful post. As a mother of a 12 year old boy who grew up entirely too fast, I get the man boy stage and you’re right. We just grasp love and the rest of time just moves on.

    • Thank you! The man-boy stage is certainly an interesting one. For whatever reason, my son this morning felt the need to give me a huge bear hug. Warmed my heart right up! ^_^

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