It’s Wednesday, and today’s post has been laying on my heart and on my mind since yesterday around approximately 3pm.
Before I dive right into that (because it’s gonna hurt a little I think),
let’s get to the exciting news first…
If you follow the blog on FB or me on Twitter, then you may already know and I apologize for the repetitiveness. For those who don’t know, late last year I was asked to pray about becoming a contributing writer on MustLoveGod. It’s a site you may be familiar with as I have referenced it a few times. I’ve found it to be an encouraging group of Sisters in Christ, sharing struggles, and rejoicing in victories. All focused on the one thing that is important. After praying about it, and feeling the Lord nudging me to step out of my comfort zone, I said yes. So take a moment if you’d like to see a little more about why I choose Redeem as my One Word, and hop over here to take a peek at my first post, and maybe cruise a little to see what else there is to see.
Now, for the rest of this post, we are going to hunker down for Weigh in Wednesday.
First, how did I do on the goals I set last week?
- Whole30 – We will be doing this. Due to budgeting reasons, it’ll be about a month before we can start, however, we are excited and have committed to making it happen. More to come!
- Drink 8 cups of water – 50% improvement.
- Exercise 4 times this week – Made Goal! Went Snow Shoeing with my husband 3 times and did my first Power90 Cardio workout of the New Year yesterday.
Which brings me to yesterday and the Power90 workout. Even though I went snow shoeing with my husband several times, and enjoyed it immensely, I didn’t think I wanted to go at first. It wasn’t until after I got out, and started moving, that I felt energized and ready to take on the world!
Yesterday I was determined start my Power90 program again. It was such an accomplishment for me to get as far into the program as I did, and then a week long injury turned into a month and a half of not attempting to exercise at all. When the time came to complete the workout, I did not feel like doing it.
And as I was huffing and puffing and sweating and enjoying it, I realized something else.
- When I make bad food choices, it’s because I don’t feel like eating healthier.
- When I decide to make no effort to move and work my muscles, it’s because I do not feel like moving or working my muscles.
- When I treat my body poorly, and then look in the mirror and complain and insult what I see inside my own mind, it’s because I feel “ugh” and therefore speak about myself with the “ugh” tone.
As I came to this realization (somewhere between running lunges and jumping like a bunny), I remembered a hard lesson I learned this past summer…
“Sometimes, our feelings lie to us.”
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? ~Jeremiah 17:9 (ESV)
Sometimes my heart is not focused on Him. It’s focused on other things. Like my emotions over His sovereignty. My wants over His needs for me.
For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, ~2 Timothy 3:2-4 (ESV)
Am I showing the Lord gratefulness for what He has given me in my body when I insult it as I look in the mirror because I feel a certain way? Am I focused more on pleasure when I over-indulge on foods I know are unhealthy, not good for me, and wrecking havoc on my body because I feel like eating it? Or when I choose to not drink enough water because I’d rather drink a soda, or something else that is not going to nourish my body in the same way?
And the biggest one of all when I look at this description in 2 Timothy discussing Godlessness in the last days, am I trying at all to cultivate self-control? It is one of the fruits of the Spirit listed in Galatians, and if I am refusing to exhibit self-control when it comes to diet and exercise, how can I trust my own feelings to exhibit self-control when it comes to other things? Like anger and frustration towards my spouse or son when I’m feeling moody? Or a servant’s heart to helping a friend in need when I’m feeling lazy?
Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. ~Ephesians 5:17 (ESV)
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV)
Foolish. I can honestly say, as the kick/punch routine started yesterday on that DVD, I was feeling pretty foolish. Have I not been saying for the last six months that I cannot succeed in this journey without Christ? Did I so quickly forget that just because I didn’t feel like eating healthy, or feel like exercising, or feel like praying to overcome these things when the temptation to overindulge on chips, chocolate, and who knows what else settled in?
A Redeemed Life.
My One Word: Redeemed
Because I know that the Lord can redeem this part of me.
My choices of not showing gratefulness when it comes to this area of my life, my choices of focusing on worldly pleasure over God’s pleasure, and my choices of not learning and growing in self-control.
Because I want to LIVE a Redeemed Life, not just feel it, LIVE it.
Which brings me to the final thought this all lead to. Even though I do have a Weight Loss goal – suggested and encouraged by my health care professional – and even though I have a dietary goal – suggested and encouraged by my health care professional based on my health concerns – it’s about more than just Weighing In on Wednesday for my personal journey.
It’s about gratefulness for my body. My pointy noise. My crooked teeth. My freckles. My scars. My pale skin. Those sneaky grey hairs trying to poke through. Those little wrinkles starting to form. It’s about being grateful for ALL of it.
It’s about focusing on Pleasing Him above pleasing myself. With every bite I take, every drink I swallow, doing it to and for the Glory of God. However, that looks, however He plans on teaching me about how that’s supposed to look.
It’s about self-control. About not making excuses to NOT have self-control in any area of my life. Because a Redeemed life bears fruit. It’s time this branch, connected to His vine, bears some of that fruit. For His glory, not mine. By His will, not mine.
And yes. It’s about examining my heart before HIM, because only He can truly know it. Only He can heal it. Only He can take a sick heart and make it well. What I’m slowly learning, (BUT PRAISE GOD FOR LEARNING IT!) is that it only takes a second for my heart to fall ill again. And Only He can heal my heart.
I can plan to walk to the mailbox, stub my toe on the door, and find my heart sick again. This world is full of “germs”, always waiting to attack my heart, and if I don’t get in to see the Doctor immediately, then I get a fever, sores, blisters, and before I know it I can become so sick I just roll over in bed refusing to get up TO GO to the Doctor. Gotta go though. Because He is the only one who can Heal. Again and again and again. And I believe, with each healing, He will work into it His transformation. Because that’s what He promised. God keeps His promises.
So with ALL of that being said, I have decided for the New Year, for my Redeemed journey, I will be calling my Wednesdays “Wellness Wednesday”. Because I want it to be “well with my soul”, spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Which means I’m going to have to learn to stop leaning on my understanding, stop leaning on my own feelings, and lean on Him.
And now for the other part, because I do have a weight loss goal I am trying to meet.
And this week, I’m going to own these numbers, even if they hurt.
Last Check In Weight: 134.0 LBS
This Week’s Weight: 138.5 LBS
Difference: +4.5 LBS
Total Since Weight Loss Journey Began:
-16 LBS -11.5 LBS
The Holidays took a little toll on my waistline because of the choices I made, and more importantly, the choices I did NOT make.
The good news is, my God is greater than me. I know that He can overcome my struggles through me as I continue to strive to submit and humble myself before and know and obey and LOVE Him. And by questioning my own feelings, especially when they contradict His word, His will, and His truths.
Wow. So after this very LONG post, I also gotta share the happiness of my week. Those snow shoeing days with the hubs? They were AWESOME. I look forward to sharing more adventures like these with him. (And the puppy. And the son.) Although sometimes, it’s nice to have a little snow adventure just the two of us.
Wellness Wednesday. A Redeemed Life.
In Love & Faith,