Did I Need Him on the Cross Today?

Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Studies

I have a confession to make my friends. When I originally decided to read Made To Crave and participate in the online Bible study, I thought it would be a nice little book to help me stay motivated to lose weight and be healthy.

I had no idea the depths it would bring me in regards to my spiritual health. I had no idea I would at times find myself in tears, scribbling down painful answers in a journal as I dug deeper into how I think and what I really believe.

This week has been no exception. I have been encouraged by Lysa Terkeurst in her writing to not be defined by the scale, or anything else, and instead to be defined by my obedience to God.

So how do I do that exactly? How do I live a life that finds my significance in Jesus?

P31 OBS Blog Hop

Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight. ~ 1 John 3:21-22
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. ~ 1 John 1:9

First, I need to be honest with myself and with my Father about the ways I’ve tried to find my significance apart from Him. I need to repent of putting my worship/trust in something other than Him, of loving something above Him. For me, this has been my family, my career, my writing, and food. I have looked to other people and placed them on higher thrones than God to be disappointed, to turn and focus on my own abilities to be disappointed, then turn to fried foods, sweet foods, and any other food I could get my hands on to be disappointed – and start over again.

Father, forgive me for trying to find my worth, my value, and my purpose in anything other than you. Forgive me for placing other people, myself, and food on a throne before you. I want to repent of this, to turn away and trust in You, to seek You, to know You and know who I am in You. Help me to turn from Idols Father. I ask your Holy Spirit reveal to me when I am turning to an idol and cry out for me, to help me keep my heart and mind focused on You.

Which brings me to my next question. Do I trust Him?
I mean really trust Him?

Do I trust Him when He says He will forgive me? That there is “now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:1-2)? How can I repent of something and still have no confidence? How can I seek forgiveness and still hold closed my heart and not change? Do I Trust Him and What He Says?

My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. ~Hebrews 13:8
For I the Lord, do not change; ~Malachi 3:6a

Father, hear my cry, “I believe, help my unbelief!” Lord, reveal to me when I am not trusting you and help me through your Holy Spirit to have faith. To have faith that knows you and believes you. A faith that takes you at your word and lets the confidence of my heart be in You.  Help me Father to look to You more, and myself and others less. 

When weights are pulling down my shoulders, feelings of failure and despair threatening at my door, I need to stop and evaluate what’s going on. Evaluate what I’m doing and why I am doing it. Is my motivation my Lord and Savior, or is it something else? Am I doing something to bring Him glory and point to the gospel, or am I doing something to point and bring glory to myself?

Those questions may bring me back to confession and repentance. Sometimes I think we forget the necessity of confession and repentance.

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. ~ 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Now, my next thought may not be very popular. Honestly, I’ve been wrestling with it for several days. Wrestling because my sin nature doesn’t want to admit it. I can’t find my significance apart from Christ, because I am not good. I am sinful.
When I read scripture, it’s easily seen I am not good. When I am not confessing and repenting – I am deceived. When I am deceived, I start looking to other things for my significance because I don’t need Jesus on the cross.

That has been the hard pill for me to swallow. When I go to bed at night, having nothing to confess, nothing to repent of,  nothing to seek His help with growing in, what I’m really saying is “I had today Lord, today I was good, and I didn’t need you on the cross today because I took care of it“.

Don’t misunderstand me here. I’m not saying it’s about beating myself up and looking at all the ways I’m a failure.
I’m only a ‘failure’ when I look to MYSELF to accomplish what HE accomplished on the cross. When I look to Jesus as my Lord and Savior, when I humble myself before Him and realize my need for Him, I have NO condemnation in Him. He is faithful to forgive me where I confess and repent. He is faithful to give me a new heart and transform my mind.
As He does this, I can see where I am obedient to Him, and that is where I find my significance. In Him.

The beautiful thing, is when I believe He is who He says He is, and His words are Always Truth, then I know my worth, my value, and my dignity can never be diminished or taken away by anything or anyone. People can not diminish my worth. Age cannot diminish my value. Money cannot remove my integrity. I find my significance in my Father. The confidence of my heart comes from Him. It’s then I realize the chains are gone, I’ve been set free.

ME chapter 7

In Love & Faith,

Blog Versus-0032

8 thoughts on “Did I Need Him on the Cross Today?

  1. Thanks for sharing your heart RaZella! I love “It’s then I realize the chains are gone, I’ve been set free.” I always love visualizing this!

  2. RaZella, I love you. Your writing is awesome. God loves you too & He sees our struggle. He wants to help us. The hard part as strong independent women is letting Him ❤️❤️❤️

    Stela (OBS Small Group Leader)

  3. Loved this post! What a great way to look at how we make our decisions, be it food, television, idle time, etc.. Lord, do I need u on the cross today? Wow, great question.

  4. “The beautiful thing, is when I believe He is who He says He is, and His words are Always Truth, then I know my worth, my value, and my dignity can never be diminished or taken away by anything or anyone.”… THIS. THIS. IS. BEAUTIFUL. Thank you for sharing!!!
    Lauren, P31 OBS blog hop team

  5. Thanks for sharing this. Your question, “Lord, do I need you on the cross today” certainly gave me a lot to think about.


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