It’s been one week since I’ve refocused my health journey. I think whenever we step out and make a new commitment to something, we leave ourselves wide open for everything that can go wrong to go wrong. The question is do we keep adjusting the strings of our life to get that beautiful sound of victory, or in frustration do we twist too tightly and hear the “boing” of another string broken? I guess it’s time to Weigh In….
Weigh In Wednesday
I’ve spent a little time each day praying the Lord to speak truth to me about my health, my idols, where I’m being deceived on my quest for a healthier lifestyle, and truth about other areas of my life which are lacking discipline. I also spent this week going back to the Made To Crave study and very slowly and prayerfully reading through the introduction.
One morning as I did this, I decided to answer the question “How am I doing?” via my journal, writing it out to Jesus. I let down my determination to succeed and gave Him my deep down honest answer to that question.
I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated that I still look at a spread of food and want to mow everything in sight. Mostly, right now, I’m more frustrated that I have to be so disciplined and determined. It’s not fair. It’s not fair I can’t have that naturally great health that doesn’t have to worry about heart disease and can consume cookies everyday without gaining a pound. Deep down, that’s how I’m doing.
As I sat back and looked at my writing, the Holy Spirit began to stir me. My prayers began to come back to me. “Speak truth to me“. I took a deep breath, put the pen back down to the paper, and wrote the following:
Logically should I know this after I’ve already read this study? Yes. Logically should I know this from Sunday School and sermons? Yes. Logically did I have a head knowledge of this? Yes.
What really hit me this week was how DEEPLY I’ve bought into the lie. I was living the lie. When faced with emotions of “it’s not fair” I was withstanding against it. I wasn’t defeating it. Why? Because “it’s not fair” is a lie. How do you defeat a lie? Really defeat it? With Truth.
My husband and I went out on a date night. On the way we stopped at a salad bar so we could enjoy delicious salads by the sea. (Of course I called this our “Salads at the Sea with my Sweetie” Date) The salad bar had tons of choices, some healthier than others, so it was time to grow in discipline or not.
Of course the words began to swirl around inside my mind...”It’s not fair…look at what you could be eating…seriously… just look…”
Life application time – Capture the thought – Give it to Christ. I said as loudly as I could inside my head “Tonight is NOT about FOOD. Tonight is about spending some one on one time with my husband. To love and cherish and honor him. To take in God’s creation. To be thankful for the many blessings in life the Lord has provided me with. My husband. The beautiful landscapes God has created. Tonight is about time with my husband whom I love and am thankful for.”
Without going into every volley back and forth inside my head, I’ll simply say that I had to speak that truth to myself several times before the other thoughts began to quiet.
I will also say I had the most wonderful evening with my husband. We talked about God, about how Amazing of a God we serve to create the world in such a way that it’s beautiful. We talked about how the weather must point to His power. We held hands and we laughed and acted like kids and we day dreamed about our future.
And while I did enjoy that salad I made, I enjoyed that time with my husband more.
That wasn’t the only time this week I’ve had to fight the lie with truth. I can’t say it’s been easy and I’ll never struggle with the lie again. I can say the Truth has won each time I’ve engaged in the battle focused on Truth. I feel myself leaning more on His strength than my own.
Seek and Ye Shall Find. He means it when He says that. Yes, He really does want us to find Him in the midst of our struggles, including our struggles with food.
I have been updating daily in a support group of Amy’s. She is such a sweetheart and so encouraging! I also love when she shares so that I can encourage her as well. My husband has been very supportive. I will often text him or message him when I’ve completed a workout, and I always get a grin when he sends back “Go Baybay Go!” because I can totally hear his voice saying it. I know he genuinely means it. It’s pretty awesome and touches my heart.
I do enjoy the 21DayFix workouts. Some days are harder, I’ve really got to push myself to get through. Other days are not as hard, however, are challenging in their own ways. For example, on Yoga day, I was doing the balancing exercises and I was like “Pssh. I got this.” Then she tells us to close our eyes. WHO KNEW THAT BALANCING ON ONE FOOT IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED?!?!?!?
I started Week 2 yesterday so I’m pushing myself a little more. Today I upped my weights slightly for the Upper Fix and it made for a more intense workout. It was exactly what I needed to do. Intense, however, no injuries. I know my body pretty well and I DO NOT push myself if something seems even a little off. When I was done my arms were a little “jello-ish”. I do know the workout did not go to waste. Some stress totally got zapped in that workout.
That’s one of the things about exercise I LOVE. I do sleep better. I’m less “tense”. I know it’s good for my heart too.
All in all, a GREAT week. Not because of me either. It was a great week because of God’s faithfulness to answer prayer and show me where I’m being deceived and where I need to turn back to His truth. It was great because of people who are an encouragement to my heart. This week was a string tuning week to find the victory music.
OH – and before I forget. I did make one of those treats in the 21DayFix meal plan. I modified it just a little, basically using ingredients I had on hand versus specific ingredients it called for. JUST LOOK AT THESE BABIES! So yummy. So tasty. So much healthier than a snickers bar. And so filling too! This is gonna last me all week!
On that sweet note, how has your week been? Let me know in the comments, and if you are blogging for WIW too please make sure to leave your blog link!