When I first started blogging I joined some weigh-in Wednesday groups, and they were good. Helped me to focus and have a community to be accountable to. Then I shifted my attention to “wellness” vs. “weight” because I felt wellness encompassed the whole picture. Physical, mental, spiritual.
Then I went off the path.
Oh I dabbled here and there, but there was no purpose.
No being intentional. No diligence or discipline.
I not only went off the path. I went off the path,
through the woods, over a waterfall, and landed in a pool.
Treading water just enough to keep my head from going under.
Words like hypothyroid and perimenopause started coming into my picture. Things CHANGED. I knew they changed, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. It used to be I wanted to lose 5lbs I’d just lose 5lbs. Not now. All the advice from older women to develop healthier habits, well, I see why now. Because there comes a day it matters.
I became discontent. I hunkered down and began to wrap up in the heavy, thick blanket of depression without even realizing it.
Then I got up one day to put on my jeans – and behold – it wasn’t happening.
Somehow spending the last week in my husband’s pajama bottoms masked my food addiction was getting out of control.
Let me just say it now for you. Oy. To. The. Vey.
My husband shared with me an acronym taught in many addiction recovery programs he heard from a friend. Then I found this from a blog I read after doing a quick Google search:
“A friend of mine calls this the HALT principle: that we are most likely to sin when we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired—all things that turn us inward. When we are in any of these places, we are most vulnerable to slipping into the dark.
On the other hand, “if we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.” We cannot continue to pretend that we have no sin, otherwise John says “we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” We need to step into the light, and the way we do that is through confession.” ~Bob Kaylor
How does this apply to me?
I’m a Food Addict. I crave the full feeling. I crave heavy, cheesy, greasy food that sits heavy in the gut. Or carbs. Lots of carbs because I almost crave that lethargic feeling I get after eating too many carbs because then at least I’m “feeling” something right?
If I’m depressed, discontent, angry, moody, tired, I want to eat everything in sight.
This, in part, is what has led to my weight gain over the winter. No self control. No discipline. Just emo-eating indulgence.
How do I know it’s really not good?
Because I most often do it when I’m alone. AKA – in the darkness.
Obviously I can’t “quit” food. I had a nicotine addiction for years as a smoker. One day I put it down and didn’t pick it back up. I can honestly say the Lord has given me great deliverance over that addiction. He has proven to me His Faithfulness time and time again in helping to overcome hard obstacles.
But a food addiction?
Do I have the FAITH to believe God will help me overcome this?
Especially since it involves something I can’t just walk away from?
I want to.
I find more and more that I cry out in my prayers
“I do believe! Help my unbelief!“.
Which leads me back to Wellness. The H.A.L.T. principle can be a guideline for wellness, because let’s face it, these are triggers.
Triggers to stumble, to give up, to give in, and to end up treading water instead of climbing mountains.
The next four weeks I plan to look at each of these four areas: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, and how they apply to my goals, my desires, and what I need to change for my overall wellness. I invite you to join me.
Also, if you’d like to get more involved in an online community setting – I’ve created a Facebook Group where you can join in a community all striving towards Wellness. Feel free to request to join here (women only). Also feel free to use the hashtag #WellnessUp for this journey. I’ll be looking for you this week on social media 😉
I’m looking forward to growth. I’m looking forward to change. It’s going to be hard at times. Which is OK.
It’s in the trial God brings the greatest growth in Faith.