Sometimes I have these amazing “God Moments” and I debate sharing them. I never want to sound like I’m aiming spotlights at myself and saying “Check me out!” because I am seriously so not worthy of any spotlight.
I feel compelled to share tonight because I want to give God all the Glory.
I pray He will use my experience tonight to comfort and encourage someone else, because I know I am not alone.
I’ve faced some trials recently that have been very discouraging to my spirit.
Honestly, I’m “in the trials” now.
I’m not writing this from the other side saying “I made it through”. I write it while still walking through the storm that changes from drizzle to downpour to roaring thunder to drizzle again.
It’s a season of pruning for me in so many ways and honestly, for anyone who has been through a season of pruning or is going through it now, you know what I mean when I say it can be very painful at times.
In my flesh, it’s easy to get discouraged. To take my eyes off of Jesus and not allow the Holy Spirit to lead me. And when the Holy Spirit isn’t leading me, I act like a woman I don’t want to be. Maybe I yell, or say harsh things. Or maybe I turn to other things for comfort.
Food. TV. Internet Window Shopping.
I stop exercising and stop striving towards personal development and instead hunker down into a pit. If I stay in the pit too long, I start the journey of depression.
I create a whole new trial in the midst of a trail – so you can see how walking in my flesh doesn’t lead to living an abundant life.
Tonight I started to feel a little tense.
Tension is a trigger for me to start walking in the flesh.
As the tension lingered, I felt the urge to “hunker down”.
Forget exercising tonight. Or doing anything else I had been looking forward to. Instead I would get lost in something and just hunker down on the couch and try to avoid the tension.
But then I had this thought. Music.
I love my “Lecrae” Pandora station. However, this thought and urge to listen to music wasn’t coming from a place of listening to the rap I love.
I suddenly felt thirsty for worship music. So I asked the fam if anyone would mind if I turned on the stereo (as it’s loud and forces everyone in the house to listen to it). The fam was good with it, so I pulled up my Sonic Flood Pandora station.
And the music played.
And by the second song, I found myself listening to the lyrics.
By the 5th song I was humming along.
By the 7th song I had decided I would exercise tonight as part of my “Wellness” plan.
And while I was on the elliptical, worship song after worship song played and I found myself singing along. I was panting, and I was off key here and there, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to sing those words. I wanted to lift up my voice too.
And then the song “Jesus Messiah” came on.
I sang, and then I cried.
I cried and kept running and kept singing while running.
And I literally started to feel weight lifting off of my shoulders.
I felt the tension begin to release.
The Holy Spirit pulled me into a moment of Worship.
In the middle of my living room.
On an Elliptical machine.
And then I found the following verses coming to mind….
Philippians 3:13-14 ESV
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
1 Corinthians 9:24
24 Don’t you know that the runners in a stadium all race, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way to win the prize. 25 Now everyone who competes exercises self-control in everything. However, they do it to receive a crown that will fade away, but we a crown that will never fade away. 26 Therefore I do not run like one who runs aimlessly or box like one beating the air. 27 Instead, I discipline my body and bring it under strict control, so that after preaching to others, I myself will not be disqualified.
And I’m on the elliptical, and I’m running.
And my running becomes my prayer.
My prayer to trust God through the hard times, the difficult times, and to trust His provision and His hand in my life. To trust Him to grow my self-control, to humble my pride, and to keep pruning me so one day I can say I made it to the other side and look what God has done to me.
It was a prayer of pressing on. A prayer of running for Him and to Him and trusting Him to help me keep running and not stop. To not give up. To keep going and most importantly, to keep trusting Jesus and to keep submitting to Him.
Then the song “Trading My Sorrows” came on next, and it was like an answer to my running prayer.
The tears dried up and a smile came to my face.
I was singing now “Yes Lord Yes Lord YES YES LORD!”
And while my circumstances didn’t change, I changed.
While there may have still been tension around me, I found peace.
My entire night has turned around and I am just so – I can’t explain it.
A part of me wants to go running down the streets screaming to everyone who will listen “GOD IS GOOD! GOD IS GOOD!”
So if you have had a hard day today.
If you can feel the tension and the weight on you spiritually and physically.
You are not alone. We all feel it sometimes.
We all have times of the “rain walk”.
The Son is Shining Brightly for us.
Reaching out to us.
Walking with us and guiding us.
And I pray in the midst of your pruning, you are encouraged and can cry the tears and smile the smile and say “Yes Lord!”