When You Taste The Bitter Pill

5_Habits_Woman-195x300I finished week 2 of the #5HabitsBook study with #P31OBS. Our second habit in the study was She follows through with her commitments despite how she feels.

It should not have been a surprise to me how the reading last week nudged deep places in this tired, battle weary heart. We all go through these seasons of life where our hearts are under attack, and as the attack continues our hearts stiffen. We go into what the hubs calls “survival mode”. You stop thinking about the future. You stop making plans. You have one goal and one goal only, and that is to make it through today.

The thing about this stiffening of the heart, is that it happens so gradually, we don’t truly realize the effects of it.Read More »

The Significance of 22

It’s just a number. Maybe an important date. Birthday. Anniversary. Number of years married. Part of a phone number. Part of an address.

For me, this morning, this is the number of pounds I have lost since January 1st, 2015. 

I did the happy dance and rushed to share the victorious news with my husband. I smiled and pranced in front of the mirror for a few moments and whispered “Thank you Jesus” several times.

As it really sunk in, I started thinking back.
Back to when the weight started piling on.
Back to when I spent hours and hours, alone during the day, sitting on my couch, eating and watching TV.
Back to when I wore my favorite red hoodie every day, not because it was my favorite red hoodie, because I was covering up. Hiding from the world.
Back to that moment when I went to put on a pair of jeans, and realized, not even my “big” jeans would fit anymore. I was literally without any pants to wear. And I sobbed. And my poor husband wanted to help, and couldn’t, because I was in this foggy, lonely place.
Back to smiling and saying “I’m fine” when people asked, putting on the front, and withdrawing and emo-eating at home.Read More »

Refinement Hurts Before It Heals

5_Habits_Woman-195x300I just finished Week One of the #5HabitsBook study with #P31OBS. This week we were focused on the first Habit which is The Assignment of Refinement. 

In addition to the book itself, I also invested in the “A Woman Who Doesn’t Quit” study guide. Everyday there is a “Quit Quitting Verse of the Day”. Two of these versus stood out to me more than the rest because of the word “HOPE”, my One Word for 2016.


 photo verse1_zpsxd75cnwe.jpgRead More »

“Becoming More” Book Review and Giveaway


becomingmore_cover-202x300I recently finished Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa TerKeurst. I read the book as part of the Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Study. I decided to take it a step further and invested in the Participant’s Guide. It helped me dig deeper in scripture and reflection. So for this particular book review, I decided to simply answer the final question asked in the participants guide:

If someone asked you what was the main thing you walked away with from this book,
how would you answer them? 

To seek God.

Really seek God.Read More »

First Wednesday of the New Year – Water and Prayer

wellnessupI decided it was time to refocus on my “Wellness” journey. It seems to always be the first thing to go when stress, hardships, and trials enter into life. At least for me.

Which is kind of stupid.


When life gets hard and stressful, my response is to start eating lots of carbs, fats, processed foods, let my finances get out of wack, and stay up too late. Plus, last year, I started smoking again. After THREE YEARS of being smoke free, I broke down and became a smoker again to try and help me “deal”.

Clearly, this isn’t really “helping” me in the long run. Now I’m facing the same hardships and trials, with less energy and mental clarity.Read More »

One Word 2016 – Good bye 2015

One Word 2016“The world is full of broken people. 
And I am one of them.” 

A few years ago I wrote a New Year’s Eve blog post with that statement as my opening line. This New Year’s Eve I found myself thinking of those exact words again.

For some people 2015 was a spectacular year full of accomplishments, wonder, and memories to cherish for the rest of their lives. For others, it was nothing more and nothing less than another year gone by.
And for the rest of us, there were beautiful moments we hold closely guarded in our hearts, and moments that nearly broke our hearts and left them shattered.Read More »

Prayer Running and Living Room Worship


2 Corinthians 12 9Sometimes I have these amazing “God Moments” and I debate sharing them. I never want to sound like I’m aiming spotlights at myself and saying “Check me out!” because I am seriously so not worthy of any spotlight.

I feel compelled to share tonight because I want to give God all the Glory.
I pray He will use my experience tonight to comfort and encourage someone else, because I know I am not alone.

I’ve faced some trials recently that have been very discouraging to my spirit.
Honestly, I’m “in the trials” now.
I’m not writing this from the other side saying “I made it through”. I write it while still walking through the storm that changes from drizzle to downpour to roaring thunder to drizzle again.
It’s a season of pruning for me in so many ways and honestly, for anyone who has been through a season of pruning or is going through it now, you know what I mean when I say it can be very painful at times.Read More »

WellnessUp: The Serious Question You Need to Ask

This health journey for me isn’t anything new. Let’s face it, I’ve done “Weigh-In Wednesdays” and “Wellness Wednesdays” and “Stand In Front Of The Mirror Eating Ice Cream Wednesdays“.  I joined Facebook groups focused on food and exercise. And while I have participated in and LOVE challenge groups, my challenge is ultimately me.

Just me.

Last year, something snapped. That snapping bleed into this year, and as I find myself coming out more and more on the other side of it, I realize that my overall Wellness is truly important.  My picture of Wellness incorporates so very many things. So many things that trying to even classify them or organize them in and of itself can become overwhelming.Read More »